In the early hours of the morning we arrived in Vienna and were on European soil at last. We proceeded to the baggage carousel where Dad had been told to talk to a person who worked there, who would supposedly organise the return of his lost property. We stood there awkwardly for quite a few minutes, scanning the crowd, surreptitiously gesturing to one another and asking if that person looked official enough. Eventually the crowd thinned and only one such person looked like a good target, so Dad went over and made me go with him to, “Help with the German.” Of course the entire conversation between them took place in English and I felt awkward standing there not saying anything, so after a few minutes I slowly backed away.

Turns out the official person was not THE official person, but Dad and him had a lovely, very long chat, and he pointed us in the direction of the lost property office, which of course seemed like a logical place to go. Dad explained the predicament to a woman at the counter, who said nothing for the few minutes it took to recount the tale (as mentioned previously succinctness is not my Dad’s strong suit). After all this the woman simply said, “I cannot help you,” and proceeded to busy herself by straightening a pile of pamphlets in the corner (a very pressing matter I’m sure).

The airport was mostly deserted, so out of options we put a pin in that problem and moved onto solving our next: the fact that we had 11 hours to kill before we could go to the apartment we had booked. Anxious to use up as much time as possible we spent over an hour in McDonalds, while I drank a cup of coffee as slowly as humanely possible, as Mum was sure that they would have no problem kicking us out when we were no longer paying customers. We then had just under ten hours to kill.

After putting our bags in the luggage lockers at the the train station we had nine and a half hours to start exploring Vienna before check-in. With no goal in mind, we used ‘eeny, meeny, miny, moe’ to choose which street to go down. We aimlessly wandered, looking at buildings, and streets, and signs, and signs on buildings and buildings on signs. We were tired, jet-lagged and I was still recovering from food poisoning, so the walking was slow and tedious, seven hours left.

After we stopped for lunch I don’t know what we did with our time, although my guess is more buildings. After about the six hour mark time went funny, and although I know it felt like forever, all I remember between 2 and 6 o’clock is drinking some hot chocolate, which I don’t think took four hours… We then checked into our apartment, which after all that waiting around and day of building-observation, turned out to be just a key in a safe and no-one would have been any the wiser had we arrived early.

The apartment itself was nice enough, however there was a peculiar element. Specifically the absence of sheets for my bed (the fold-out couch) and the presence of small square tablecloths, suitable for a table of approx. 4 people. Given the lack of other options we made it work, and Mum assured me that although strange and somewhat inconvenient, the tablecloths were intended to be sheets. I on the other hand was sceptical, especially since they had only given us two towels, and I suspect that they forgot about me…

The next day we bought a Vienna Pass, which was overpriced, but then again so were all the tourist attractions in Vienna. The pass allowed us to get in for ‘free’ to the main sights, and gave us access to a bus sightseeing tour. Determined to get our money’s worth, we scrambled around to see as many things as possible.

The first few things were duds; a museum that was closed and a ‘significant’ building whose purpose is still a mystery to me. The entrance looked like a cinema foyer, the hallways resembled that of a school, and the only clue that it might be some sort of attraction were pictures with information in the stairwell (apparently it was the historic art nouveau Urania Observatory). Next we went to the Riesenrad (ferris wheel) which was famous as it appeared in the film The Third Man. There were excellent views that Dad and I enjoyed, as we looked out the window, although Mum remained seated, worrying about us getting too close to the window, cause the glass might break and we might lean too far and fall to our deaths…?

Next we made an unexpected stop at Madame Tussaud’s, where I met Obama, joined a boy band and had drinks with Taylor Swift. Some of them were fairly lifelike (the Morgan Freeman was terrifyingly realistic and I felt like staring at it/him was rude), although others looked as if the celebrity had botox go horribly wrong and they had to get their face reshaped.

Later in the day we went to the Museum of Natural History, and I looked at some pretty, shiny rocks. There were also some dinosaurs that moved (very Night-at-the-Museum-esque) and other fun exhibits. But most notably that night I had my first legal drink, since the drinking age in Austria is 16, which I was very excited about.

I ordered a schnitzel and half a liter of beer (which OF COURSE was the first beer I’d ever tried, or alcohol for that matter, because I am a good child). The beers were served in half litre and litre glasses, which seems to be a staple of European beer drinking, with some establishments even offering 2L glasses of stronger ales.

The next morning we went to Schloss Schoenbrunn; a large palace richly furnished and very well looked after. We received an audio guide which told us about the history of the palace and the people who lived there, although in summary was a history of royal interbreeding in Europe. All of the daughters of the nobility would get married off to whatever prince or earl was most suitable, which was in many cases was their cousin, as well as their mother’s stepbrother, their great uncle, and their grandfather’s nephew. Only one daughter of a famous Queen got to marry for love, and this was because she was her mother’s favourite of 12 daughters.

The rest of our time in Vienna was a little dismal, as it was not only freezing (literally freezing), but it was windy AND raining (I was soaked through). We ducked indoors whenever we could, and discovered a few interesting museums this way, that we might otherwise not have visited.

At one of them a woman approached me and asked me (this all took place in German) if she could take photos, and at first I thought she wanted me to take a photo of her. Then she very determinedly kept asking me if she could take photos, and I told her I didn’t know over and over again, and I thought there was something I just wasn’t understanding, so I even told her I was Australian. After trying to answer her question the best I could I was thoroughly confused by the conversation, until I looked down and realised I was wearing all black and a lanyard (that had the Vienna pass on it). Embarrassed that I had unintentionally been impersonating gallery staff, I shuffled out of there before she could realise her mistake.

Another fun experience was going into an ‘Australian pub’, which I was very curious about. Turns out the Austrian Australian pub is essentially a surfboard on the wall with a shark bite taken out, some ‘watch out for kangaroo’ signs dotted around the place, and some pictures of the outback and the beach. So what do we think Australians? Cause mate, I think it’s a bloody true blue ripper!

We were anxious to leave the freezing cold and head down to the Mediterranean, but before that could happen we had a problem to solve. After ages spent emailing, attempting to phone call, getting put on hold and then finally some actual communication, a small miracle happened. I know you have all been dying to know, but I can now reveal that Dad did eventually get his hat back! He was absolutely beaming because he loves and is very proud of that hat, and for the first time since the trip started we thought we might actually be in for some good luck ahead.